Frank and Julie

Monday, Day 1

Eight-thirty in the morning, across the street from Frank’s house, Julie started her first day in her new home. Like Frank, she paid a visit to the Lifetime Ambition Box.

Unlike Frank, she declined to stand on top of the box; and after glancing at the Official Lifetime Ambition Incantation she had been handed, she crumpled up the paper it was printed on, and threw it away.

“I’m a Knowledge sim. I’m in the Law Enforcement career. There’s only one lifetime ambition that makes any sense for me. So just give me my ‘Max Out 7 Skills’ and let me get on with skilling.”

All righty then.

Her lifetime ambition all sorted, Julie settled in for some studying before the Welcome Wagon arrived.

Yes, that book should look familiar: it is Crime-Scene Cleanup and You. Julie, however, decided to make do with the standard, non-deluxe edition. Black-and-white illustrations only, and no scratch-and-sniff panels.

Actually, it sounds not only cheaper, but less disturbing that way. No wonder the standard edition sells rather better than the deluxe. Though it is, apparently, slightly less absorbing. Julie was starting to feel a bit bored by the time she heard, in the distance, the voice of the Town Crier.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! The Welcome Wagon is now approaching Ranch Lane!” It was the exact same Welcome Wagon that had visited Frank.

Though not all of them behaved exactly the same. J.M. Pescado’s first act, upon arriving at Julie’s house, was to ring the doorbell. His second act resulted either from a general desire to cause trouble, from an inability to express his attraction to Julie by means other than annoying her, or from temporarily forgetting that he is not, in fact, the Invisible Man.

“I may not have achieved invisibility,” conceded Pescado, “but at least I still have the ability to bilocate.” He pointed across the street, to where he was, at that very same moment, playing red hands with Ivy as Joe watched.

Julie looked over at Frank’s house and jumped; but quickly recovered enough to demand the return of her gnome. Pescado paid no attention, however, as he retreated to Julie’s spare bedroom to examine her mortgage notes. (“Stupid Franks and Julies! Neither a borrower nor a lender be! It gives your enemies too much of an opening! Use your superior firepower to seize the resources you need instead!”)

As Pescado disappeared into the house, Julie looked back across the street and shook her head. “How is he doing that? How are all of you doing that?”

Ivy shrugged. “I dunno.” She headed inside to join Pescado.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! I have no idea either!” Joe remained outside with Julie. “But I do have a joke for you!” He sidled over closer.

“Okay, then, let’s hear it.” Julie eyed him warily. She clearly wasn’t yet used to the idea of a Town Crier.

Joe told his best Town Crier joke. Julie seemed to enjoy it; and so Joe decided it was time to make his move. He took a deep breath.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! The Town Crier thinks you’re really cute!”

Sorry, Joe.

Julie took this as her cue to head back inside, and find something she truly was interested in.

“Ahh, Adam Dalgliesh. We have been apart too long, you and I.”

Our Julie is clearly not the life of the party either. But at least she has good taste in mystery writers.

And she and Frank might turn out to be a nicely-matched pair. While Julie chose a novel rather than the newspaper for her Welcome Wagon-avoiding pleasure, her day was still going amazingly like Frank’s. The two of them really ought to get together after work tomorrow. All that sitting around, quietly reading and ignoring each other, should make for absolutely riveting storytelling.

At any rate, Julie’s guests didn’t need any help entertaining themselves. As Julie got started on The Lighthouse, Pescado and Ivy were sharing some gossip in the spare bedroom.

(Apparently, somebody’s reputation has preceded her in this neighborhood…even though no one has officially met her yet.)

Joe wandered in shortly thereafter. He had decided, it seems, that the best way to get over the little episode with Julie was to start up a pranking war with Ivy. A pleased-as-punch Pescado cheered them on from the corner of the room.

The party broke up a little after two o’clock, when Julie put down her novel and headed off to work. This time it was Ivy who lingered behind, sitting in the recliner in Julie’s living room and staring at the wall opposite for no apparent reason. After finally coming to a definitive conclusion that there was no television in the living room, and that no amount of staring at the wall would conjure one into existence, Ivy wandered off around three.

After returning home from work, Julie eagerly headed back to the bookshelf to read some more of Crime-Scene Cleanup and You. This time, the book held her attention better—or perhaps it was just the study breaks she kept taking, to “keep an eye on Frank’s house” (as she described it to her friends later…just what she was expecting to happen to Frank’s house, with Frank still in it, went unexplained). She finally put the book down for good at 2:30 in the morning, having just finished Part II (“The Fascinating and Ever-Varied World of Blood Splatters”).

Julie ended her day with a quick shower, the purchase of an alarm clock from Flying Fish Systems (thanks to her first paycheck), and then bed. She slept soundly, and dreamlessly.

(Or so she told people the next day.)

Next installment: Excitement abounds at Frank’s house!