Frank and Julie

Tuesday, Day 2

4:05 in the morning, and Frank was wide awake. Apparently he is the early-to-bed, early-to-rise sort. (Though the first part of that is kind of hard to pull off when one’s shift lasts until eleven at night.)

After stretching and making his bed, Frank headed straight for the bookcase. Of course. Even by day 2, we have come to expect nothing less from our exhilarating friend.

First it was a little light reading; then on to writing in his diary.

“Dear Diary,

“I really wish I had a big flat-screen TV.

“If I had a big flat-screen TV, then I wouldn’t feel the need to spend so much time writing in this stupid diary.

“No offense, dear Diary. But really, how many channels can you pick up? Do you provide a high-definition picture and surround sound?

“Would my buddies ever want to come over and watch you on a big game Saturday?

“Now, on the plus side, you were awfully cheap. Free, in fact, now that I think about it. So you’ve got that going for you.

“And you never have any commercials. Well, except for that one I described in an entry last month because I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Can’t think of much else to say right now either. Hmm. I think I’m going to have a doughnut.”

Fortified with his first doughnut of the morning, Frank continued writing in his diary.

“It really would be great to have a big-screen TV. I bet the Teddy Bear Channel looks just awesome in high-def.

“I do love that channel.

“I wonder why Mark Burnett never wrote me back when I sent him that idea about doing ‘Survivor: Teddy Island’ for the Teddy Bear Channel. Surely he could see that it would be the best Survivor ever.

“I bet he’s just biding his time, waiting for the right moment to announce it to the world. And I bet he’ll act like it was his idea all along when he does.

“Jerk.”

The diary-writing wrapped up for the day as Frank felt the need for a proper breakfast, and then a bubble bath. And after that, of course, his morning paper.

On his way to retrieving the paper, Frank ran into Emma. The comely townie had watched, fascinated, as the Shorikiki house went up a few days earlier; and this morning she had decided to walk by and see if she would be able to look around inside.

But upon seeing Frank, she was seized with the desire to flirt with him. She complimented him on his house, and then tried laying on the charm.

Sorry, Emma.

And yes, there is a hidden camera up there, recording this for posterity. Sorry about that, too. But we’ve got a story to tell.

And what a riveting story it is. For after Frank bade Emma farewell (before she ever got a tour of the house, too, poor dear), he dived straight into the excitement of…

…studying It’s The “Bam” That Makes The Hole: Emeril’s Favorite Doughnut Recipes.

Of course. He was thus occupied until the carpool arrived to take him to work a little after two.

Frank returned home from work at eleven, and the incredibly exciting thing he did then was…

…er…

…well, he went straight to bed. Having gotten up at four, he was too knackered to even consider anything else.

But aha! Dreamtime! Even if his day was rather dull, surely Frank had some fascinating dreams at night that will leave our audience enraptured.

“I got to test out the lights and siren on the police cruiser today. The lights were really nice and bright. I like bright lights.

“And the siren was really loud. I’d say it was too loud…but really, a siren can’t be anything but too loud, can it? Otherwise it wouldn’t be a siren.

“I don’t know what we’d call it then, exactly…but a siren that wasn’t too loud definitely wouldn’t deserve to be called a siren, would it?”

Ooookay. Anything else?

“Silly townies. Coming by right when I’m about to pick up my paper.

“Like I’m going to be in the mood to be flirted with then. I mean, let me get caught up with Get Fuzzy first. Okay?

“Maybe I should put up a sign in the front yard. Or would people take that the wrong way?”

Yes, Frank. Yes, they would.

(Presuming that there actually is a right way to take it.)

Sigh.

Next installment: Crush!